Lists

People tell me to write more. I tell myself to write more. In fact - almost every list I ever make of "things to do" or "summer plans" includes writing.

I make a lot of lists.

It's like an addiction. With each list I make; whether on a post-it note, on my white board or typed out, edited and cleanly printed - I usually check off one or two things before I make a new one. It's like crack - with every list is a new beginning  A new day for me to say "this is the day I'm going to start being awesome" (don't worry i'm always awesome). I have an addiction in saying I'll do something before I do it. And maybe this post is like the cherry on top, perhaps it's the say-all-end-all and maybe it'll be the day I do those things I always write down. I've already written this, which is a big check for me. And, I'll let you in on a secret, I'm writing another piece to try and get published as well. So if putting that on the internet isn't enough pressure, I don't know what else I can do.

But it's not really about pressure is it? It's about frame of mind.

It has been an interesting couple of years. I've gone through a lot and had many ups and downs especially in figuring myself out, and what I want out of life. I'm nowhere close to knowing, but I've had a better mindset on it all. At the beginning of this blog I wrote about being "grown up" and feeling different, and I think I'm still progressing in that feeling. I'm learning how to be comfortable doing things alone, being strong for myself and accepting that not everyone is going to be there. I've learned how to be kinder to others, and let people in. And now I'm learning how to have faith in myself and my abilities. I'm learning that it's ok to not check off everything on these lists as long as I don't lose sight of my goals. These things will always be in my mind, in my heart, and I will get to them when I do.

So maybe today is the last day I write lists, and instead begin writing down accomplishments.